Last week when it was really perfect outside, I decided I wanted to do something perfect. Being that I usually like to do just perfectly evil things, I decided to do the opposite and do something utterly beautiful.
I can’t really say that I was the one that actually did anything beautiful, nature did it for me. In Chicago, we have an Osaka Japanese Garden, a little hidden spot behind our Museum of Science and Industry. So I walked there with the cherry blossoms blowing from the branches and fat bumble bees zooming past. And here is the first shot I took.
A beautiful View
The sun was about 2 hours past soon, so the shadows played beautifully across the water and the ground. I went in further and took more pictures. It’s really hard for me to explain what I felt when I was taking the photos. It would be like someone trying to explain all the feeling of love or seeing or tasting something extraordinary. I felt like that. But I did see something I didn’t take a picture of, that made me think a little about life…
I saw a few ducks in the water too as I went to take pictures of the Lilly Pads… since it was so pretty I starting wondering if I would see a frog jumping around from green to green…. it was a little strange to be there, with so few people even knowing that this place exists. Or perhaps I 
had come on a day where I was simply lucky enough to enjoy it.
Blossoms
Later on, I saw a rock in the pond. The workers were there and had just turned on the waterfall. There were ants on this rock, running around like mad! and I realized they probably had no idea when they made their home there, that it would be flooded by an unseen force, such as nature. We placed a stick on the rock, leading to the gravel path and the wind blew it away… with ants on it. And I was thinking that were were probably screaming their heads off! I was probably a monster in their eyes! We put a stick there for them be blown away! But that wasn’t the case was it? It only seemed so.
Alot of times we go along in life, building our little house, job, relationships and future without a thought to the world around us that can sweep everything away and wash everything away in a single moment. Like those ants we scurry around thinking everything will just go on being the way we made it to be.
And like those ants, sometimes someone will come along to help you and you might get blown away by another force. So instead of looking at my life as a serious of unfortunate events blurred by a few moments of complete happiness, I am starting to think of it differently… maybe I was one of the ants that made it safely to shore! And as fortunate as I am not to have drowned… I would have to build all over again. There is always beauty even in the face of something horrible, and there is always something just as hard even when we face terrible-beauty.
I love the terrible-beauty in everything. I admit it is the one thing that brings me to tears, and makes my heart beat intensely with such a force, I wish I could die in it. That day, i felt that…
Enjoy my little post…. there won’t be many like it ever… just think of it as one of my technicolor anime dreams that came to life. And my way of saying how much I love you…
Terrible beauty... a drowning feeling
What you said